I accidentally had phone sex last night
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
