I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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