At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize