I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
