do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
