Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
