Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
