I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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