OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
