She said her name was "party"
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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