It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
