I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
