Me. At least after what I've been through.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize