His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
