Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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