Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
