OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
