The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
