remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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