look no pants
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
When are your genitals available?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
