We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
