He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
