I want to make a zoo with you.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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