I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm getting married
To pizza
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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