I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
