at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
