I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
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