Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
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