We're like a lot better than the average bears
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
