brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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