i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize