Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
