Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
