I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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