Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
