I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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