jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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