I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize