new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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