You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
