your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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