hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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