i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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