Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
What drink are we having for lunch?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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