i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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