I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
