Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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