I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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