There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
