spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
