brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
