That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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