dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize