he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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