Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
