So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
