Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
