I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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