those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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