do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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