awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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