There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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