Whod you bang
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
