I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
