Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
