You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
