I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
